brighter than sunshine

finals are coming up and i haven't studied. i am screwed, i tell you. screwed.

i don't like exams. i don't like the fact that my intelligence is being measured by the answers i give on a piece of paper. i don't like being labeled as average because i don't get a lot of A's in exams. i don't like the fact that a smart person is seen as a person who gets a lot of A's in exams and all the other factors don't really count.

i know this girl who gets straight A's all the time but doesn't know who the first president of the United States is. i once told a friend of mine that Tony Blair replaced George Bush as the president and she believed me. but she does well in school and all her friends say she's smart.
i don't find it really fair. i'm not seen as a smart person just because i can't tell you what kind of curve the equation f(x) = 3x + 2y will give you. and i'm not in the school's top ten because sometimes i can't remember the different phases of mitosis and meiosis. and i'm not put into the first class because sometimes i get the general answers of the question correctly but i wasn't specific enough. or i wrote my answers in point form. or my answer was slightly different than the one in the marking scheme and therefore i don't get full marks.

and if you ask any student why they're studying, you'll get this answer : sebab nak exam.
you don't get kids who study because they want to, you get kids who study solely for exams. nobody wants to read for their own knowledge, everybody reads so that they'll be able to answer the questions they'll be getting on a few sheets of paper. so, we produce robots with no drive. nobody takes the initiative to try new things because we are all trained to think according to what is given to us. and we don't move forward. we get stuck.

maybe that's why i hardly have the feel to study for exams :| i don't see it as something hugely important unless its a big exam like PMR or SPM. i'm happy to be in the middle because i don't have to be pressured to maintain good results and i don't lose too much focus. i know i can do it when i want to, i'm intelligent enough for myself and i don't need the A's to tell me that.

and so, i think, exams aren't really that needed. sure, they show you where you stand but otherwise, what's its purpose? AS IF i'm going to need f(x) = 3x + 2y in the real world. i'm not going to walk under an arch and think "what is the equation for this arch ar?". my future kids won't need to know what kind of gas magnesium chloride will release when its heated. knowing about a straight line might not help me find a good husband in the future.

and now, i have to go. i have to start studying for my final exam, next year SPM. i can't afford to get into a stupid class =.=