how much more must i take?

you wanna know what dugaan is?
dugaan is having to call and order McD for your mother and brother who are not fasting.
dugaan is having to collect the McD from the delivery guy and ignore the weird looks he's giving you because you ordered McD in the middle of the day and you are so obviously a Malay.
dugaan is having to help your brother put his chicken and fries on the plate for him.
dugaan is watching your mother eat a burger right in front oh you.

and dugaan is having to go outside and chase your cats back into the house right after seeing all that food.

my pahala is obviously 1000 times more than yours.

its a shouty world

my mother constantly shouts, even when she's just talking on the phone.
my brother only shouts when he gets his seizure attacks, and when he does, he hits 100000 decibels.
my dad rarely shouts, and when he does it sounds like thunder.
but when i start shouting, the others start to shout even louder.

my very own destroyer

blogs are dangerous. look where RPK's blog got him. look where Adele's blog got her. i don't even want to think where my blog will get me if i actually did post every single thing on my mind. Timbuktu, perhaps. or maybe Mars? or somewhere to that effect.

i am seriously thinking about deleting this blog but my decision goes two ways. first, i think i SHOULD delete this blog because almost every day i'm hearing things like "omg, this person just got in trouble for writing this on their blog" and "be careful, this person is reading your blog. watch what you're saying". the cowardly side of me wants to save myself from the trouble and having to explain myself if i do say something wrong. i mean, is it worth it? i've got better things to do than to explain my opinions to those who don't agree, thank you.

and then i think that i SHOULD NOT delete this blog because the stubborn side of me refuses to back down just because somebody doesn't like what i'm saying. its my blog and i have the right to say what i want. to hell with those who don't like it, my opinions have worth. and if i get into trouble, bring it on. i know what i'm talking about and i can talk about whatever i want to. it's a free country and i have my freedom.

then my two contrasting sides come up with a compromise to keep this blog completely neutral and just write about things without actually having a direct opinion about things that are happening. i'll be like a reporter reporting to no one.

but where's the fun in that? i might as well work as a reporter. at least i'll get paid for having no opinion.

so, to satisfy myself, i will say my opinions. i just have to be extremely subtle and indirect so nobody can use my opinions against me. it'll be like a huge mind game.

so, you know what i think? i think power goes to people's heads too much and too often. do we actually have any grounded leaders in the world today? people are either corrupt with power or just chasing for more power which will eventually lead to their corruption. thats what its like with any leader; world leader, school prefect, ketua kampung, whatever. and when somebody speaks out, they do all they can to crush it because nooooo, they can't have somebody having a mind of their own. it tarnishes their shine. its a speck of dirt on their otherwise clean and perfect world.

we're all made of dirt. play with dirt once in a while.

how's that for subtle and indirect?
i somehow think i'm kidding myself because anybody with a brain can figure out what i just wrote.
then again, my opinions have worth. everybody's opinion has worth.

tag! i'm it

i need to start taking care of my face. there's like a freaking garden of pimples growing under my bottom lip. and i can tell you, it doesn't look pretty like a garden is supposed to be. and it hurts.

yaya tagged me, by the way. i guess i have to answer =.=

*****

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves..

RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse.These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
* haihh, ikut kau lah. aku bla dulu ye.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
* world peace and a better environment. HAHA somebody please kick me now.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
* my own, if thats possible :|

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
* give me a billion, then i'll figure it out.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
* if i'm a lesbian.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
* being loved :)

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
* until i get tired of waiting?

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
* wey, pergi beribadat la. hahaha yes, you may kick me in the head now.

9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?
* raya is comingggggg!

10. What takes you down the fastest?
* an undertaker. haha wtf?

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
* hmm 16 + 10 = 26. how about old?

12. Who is currently the most important people to you?
* la familia.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
* she's a tiny kind of person, heheh.

Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
* single and rich lah. lipstick jungle gitu HAHA

15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
* groan.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
* i would give all in a marriage.

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
* 1) i would not fall in love with two people simultaneously
2) if i did, i wouldn't pick anyone. i'd just continue being the asshole that i am to be dating two people at a time.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
* forgive but don't forget.

19.Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
* pergi beribadat lah.

*****

and i shall break rule #2 and NOT tag anybody. you fellas should be thanking me. haha.

creep

my special ability to move my ears and freak people out has reached a whole new level.
i just discovered that i can not only move both my ears, but my right ear by itself.
so i can move either my right ear or both my ears.
how much of a freak can i be? :D

don't speak

what's a blog? publish thoughts.

as humans, we all have different thoughts and of course they don't always see eye to eye. and as humans, we all like to express our different thoughts. that is where a little thing called freedom of speech comes in. somebody told me that everybody is entitled to this freedom, but this freedom comes with responsibility. any mature person with a half a brain can figure this out.

BUT if somebody is punished just for expressing their opinion and telling it like it is while being completely aware of her responsibility as a blogger, is that freedom of speech? maybe she did say a few harsh words about some people, but its just an opinion. everybody has an opinion. she just chose to say it out loud.

and think; if somebody does say something bad, it has to come from somewhere. its not like anybody would suddenly say "you suck, i hate you and for no reason okay".

i don't understand the punishment. a warning would have been good enough, but a huge punishment for something as small and general as expressing an opinion? and its not as if the opinion was full of fuck yous. there were no four letter words at all. it was just the words of a frustrated, opinionated teenager who wasn't satisfied with another person and chose to write about it. it was an opinion.


after writing all that, it suddenly occurred to me that i might be next in line. if i'm called up for this, i'm going to plant a microchip into my brain and turn into an expressionless robot.

the view from the afternoon

this evening, before buka, i went outside just before maghrib. i've now decided that evening, when the sun is setting, is my favorite time of day.

the sky looked really great this evening. the sun was setting but it was turning cloudy so it was like the world was on fire, sort of. okay, not on fire but the air kind of had an orangey tint to it.
it was also thundering and there was lightning in the distance. it was like one of those scenes that National Geographic or Discovery Channel generate to replicate Mars or something. where the planets have fire all over the place and there are explosions and everything. it was one of those days when you really felt like you were living on a planet and not just the mere world which we take for granted every day.

and it's almost like every evening is different. the sun sets and makes the sky turn a different colour. sometimes its pink, sometimes its orange or maybe purplish. or it just turns from light blue to black.

and it's this time of the day when i feel most human and humble. mostly i go about my day ignoring the things around me, feeling big and in contorl, the world is my oyster. but in the evenings when i see the great things God gives us, i feel this huge sense of inferiority.
then i go inside to buka and i go and pray immediately.

sometimes, it just takes something as ordinary as the sun setting to make us appreciate what we have around us.

you should really try going outside just before maghrib. i think of it as my visual therapy.
wait, is there such a thing as visual therapy? =.=
there should be.

of toilets and cats

to go or not to go? that is the real question.


my cat just bit me because i tried to pull a piece of shit stuck to her butt.
and to you ding-dongs that might be thinking that i used my bare hands to pull that piece of shit, i used a tissue okay.
and to more ding-dongs that might be wondering why i would want to even try and pull that piece of shit off, the cat was going to sit on my bed. i don't want flakes of cat shit on my bed, thank you.
excuse me for being clean.
ironic how the cat likes to sneak into the toilet when i'm not looking but doesn't know how to clean its own butt.

you're a waste of space

you know what i hate? people who tYpE liKe tHis.
and you know what's even worse? biLew tYpE dAlaRm bAhaSeW meLayuW aDew SpeLLiNg peLiwk-peliWk.

try saying that out loud and pronouncing the W's as well. i don't know, maybe that sounds extremely intelligent and what, sexy??? come on lah, if you're 20, talk and spell like you're 20 and not like some stupid kid who's just discovered the internet.

i don't understand why that kind of spelling is even around. half the time it doesn't make sense and when i finally figure out what the person's trying to say, this thought always runs through my mind: "how long did he take to type this out?"

it must be tiring to type something like that. first you have to think about what to type about. then you have to think about whether the letter should be a capital letter or a small letter or maybe a number or a symbol. then you have to figure out where to put the W's. then you have to actually start typing.

damn, i usually get stuck at what to type about. but these 'special typers' have a lot more things to worry about, don't you think so? i'm so lucky i'm not one of them.

shed some skin

or fur, in my cats case.
Cherry is shedding like mad. i think if i put a vacuum cleaner to her fur, she'd be completely bald.
then i'd have a bald, fat, siamese cat. i'm somewhat tempted to try this now :|

lovalova

me and papa are in the car, i switch on Hitz.fm and Viva La Vida by Coldplay was playing.

papa : "woi, main sejuk!"
me : "main sejuk? what, you're cold ah?"
papa : "cold. play. main. sejuk. geddit?"
me : "ah, okay. funneee, pa. hahaha"
papa : "hahahahaha i gotcha there, didn't i?"
me : "you really did, pa."

HEHE.

cats, physics and my stripy pyjama bottoms

which of these items do not belong?

the cat? bravo, my friend. you are a true genius.

why am i showing pictures of my cat relaxing in places they shouldn't be in? i should be studying, finals are coming.

aiyoh, i hate exams la.
i love my stripy pyjama bottoms. they're so... stripy.
aihh, i'm going now.

i'll never walk alone, i know.

eh, liverpool won against manchester united last night hehehe. now, i'm no Hidayah when it comes to blogging about football, but i'm really happy that they won because its their first league win in over four years. yes, man united made fools out of us for a long time, i know. but, i don't care. we finally won!
and without Torres i might add. even Gerrard was brought in during the last half hour. i thought Keane played badly, every opportunity missed, every strike was off target and he completely missed the ball twice. no wonder people are calling him the 20mil waste. and he's not even handsome. grrrr -.-"
but, obviously Ryan Babel was the big hero, scoring the winning goal and all. and a nice goal too. yeah, that's the best description i can come up with. i suck at footblogging.
Rafa must be some kind of psychologist (said the commentators) because right after half-time, the Liverpool players were like charged with this new kind of energy.

the one who started the rafalution.
he's the one who doesn't look so boring. not so hard to figure out eh?
and he's not pink in the face.

i love you, Rafa Benitez.

free poison

i think they secretly put laxatives in the ice tea my mother likes to buy.
every time i finish drinking a big glass, i have to go shit.

tuneage

welcome to Nadia's step-by-step guide to feeling better.

1) close and lock bedroom door
2) consume big amounts of sugar (coke is good)
3) turn speaker up
4) choose exciting songs. (i recommend The Hives - You Got It All.. Wrong, or Try It Again)
5) jump and go crazy to your hearts content.

i find this very therapeutic after a big dose of nags from my mother.
try it, i'm sure this is healthy. it makes you feel all good inside.

i killed a frog and i liked it

eee, that title sounds so... bad. but it fits anyway.
so, last tuesday, i kind of crucified some frogs, cut their guts open and poked their insides around.

wanna see? what, no? who cares, i'm showing you anyway.
let's start from the beginning of the day.

a few frogs got loose, as in escaped from their kotak. all thanks to some genius that opened that kotak all the way. the whole class screamed and ran. zul said he could hear people screaming from his class. which is pretty damn far, as far as screams can go.

pictures :

sejarah period with cikgu kamal. need i say more?

still in sejarah.

the frogs enjoyed watching Stephen sleep with his mouth open.

Dayah, on the way to the lab. and the frogs awaiting their fate.

sadly, this is not my katak. but it's feckin' huge.

this miserable thing is my katak.
surresh and ezmeer : "weh, camane nk letak katak atas board ni?"
nadia : "angkat je kaki die tuu. lalu sket."
*lifts frog by leg and dangles the frog in front of them*
surresh and ezmeer : =.= "go, nad."

i cut that little hole, but surresh made me feel guilty.
surresh : "eh, it pengsan already or not? really pengsan right? cannot feel anything right? make sure aaa. aiyo, humans ny lar do this kind of thing"
nadia : "yes, surresh. it can't feel anything. shut up la, please. i wanna potong the skin."
surresh : "damn lar."

pulling the skin from the fat was like pulling lumpy sellotape.
adele said she loved the sound the skin made when you peeled it.
and you think i'm cruel?

their katak was tiny, so they accidentally cut the intestines =.=
dayah : "weh, apesal banyak darah ni? dah mati ke?"
taufiq : "tak kot, jantung tengah gerak-gerak lagi"
dayah : "aku rase kau terpotong usus die kot"
taufiq : "entah, cube tarik."

this is what my frog looked like after i cut it open.
the cotton full of chloroform is right on its face because it kept waking up =.=

yes, Dayah does camwhore a lot even with a dying frog in front of her.

and i shall end with Imtinan giving his BM oral.



and yeah, that's pretty much it.
i'm not scared of frogs anymore too. everytime i see one i think "aku penah potong perut kau."
haha.

give me back my heart, alex turner

i've watched this video about 5 times in a row and Alex Turner melts me into my chair every time. especially at the end when he suddenly turns to the camera. it just kills me. seriously.

and Miles Kane has a huge mouth.

btw, Alex Turner is the handsome one on the left, playing the really cool red electric guitar. Miles Kane is the one with the huge mouth.

4 Sains Bestari/Berani/Bodoh

typical 4SB :

1) chemistry PEKA is due first thing in the morning. when i walk into the class, the first thing i see is a group of people clustered around a few sheets of paper. every single person has a look of intense concentration and their wrists are smoothly gliding across their test pad. the sheets of paper are the sacred completed chemistry PEKAs. and the worshippers of these precious sheets of papers are the ones who thought 'ah, tiru je la esok', which is 9/10 of the class. as a result, the whole class arrives late to the chemistry lab but yes, everybody finished their PEKA. the next day, the teacher asks us 'mane korang dapat molarity ni? korang tak calculate ke? buat balik, nanti saya tunjuk contoh'. yes, the whole class got it wrong. =.=

2) a physics experiment involving ice ends up in a war where the boys will put ice down each others shirts. when the ice ran out, they all bet 1 buck on whoever could dip their fingers in hot water and hold it there for 3 seconds. but, they all lost out to the quietest boy in class who carried a whole beaker of hot water from one table to the other without even blinking. then, he spilled the beaker of water onto his lap and just went 'alamak'. the boys all agreed he should have gotten a thousand bucks for that.

3) bm period. the whole class runs out and only 6 people are left in the class and 3 out of them fell asleep. yet, our class still managed to get the 2nd highest BM results in the whole of form 4.
or was it highest?

4) maths period. again the class runs out. one of our classmates came running in saying 'cikgu maths on the way! dah kat bengkel kh dahh!' everyone is thrown into a frenzy and in 5 seconds, the whole class decides to run. i don't know why, it just happened :|
so, everybody runs to the next block, the form 1 block and spies on the class, waiting for teacher to maybe enter, see that nobody is in and walk back out.
a few minutes later, no teacher walks in. then a classmate looks at the form 1 staircase and there she is, climbing up. everybody runs back our block, still trying to escape. some are caught and told to go to class, but they suddenly develop a stomach ache and have to go to the toilet.
but, we all went to class. after around 20 minutes of walking around, of course.

5) there is no sudut bacaan in 4SB but there is a sudut sampah. created by Imtinan when Cikgu Fatimah asked him to throw away the rubbish. since he absolutely hates this teacher and was too lazy to get out of class to throw the rubbish, he took a pencil and when teacher wasn't looking, he drew an arrow pointing to a corner and wrote 'sudut sampah'. since then, wads of papers balls were thrown there and when the pile gets too big, somebody who does care about cleanliness will throw the pile of papers away.


everyday is an adventure in 4SB. don't you just love this class? :)

lick me, meoww

everyone has a blog now. everyone. did blogs suddenly become a fad or did everyone just feel like writing at the same time? are you suddenly cool?
i'm not saying that owning a blog is wrong. god, no. i know everyone is entitled to express their own opinion, freedom of speech bla bla bla. but damn, its like the whole world blogs. so who has the best opinions? who tells the best stories? who really influences us?

this world feels very crowded sometimes.
i hate globalization sometimes, so bite me.

and no, the title really has nothing to do with this post. just laugh at it, hahaha.

puasa! and other stuff

wee, puasa month is here! puasa month, the month regarded as a month for us to reemerge as a slimmer version of ourselves for raya. i only started thinking of puasa month as diet month this year. because?
i've gained quite a lot of weight lately. my waist went from 26" to 27". yeah, fine i can practically hear people going 'lahh, satu inci je. poyo ah budak ni'
that one inch has made my pants size go from size 6 to size 8. and now i'm in that dilemma where size 6 is too small and size 8 is too big. do designers not believe in odd numbers? what's so wrong with the numbers 1,3,5,7 and 9?
sedih jugak my ass is getting bigger. hahaha. i regret stopping swimming. but then, watching those olympic swimmers, maybe stopping swimming wasn't such a bad choice. have you seen the muscles on those professional female swimmers?




HAHAHA. not exactly a professional female swimmer, but i typed in 'swimmer' in photobucket and i got this. nice. but you know what i'm talking about. i don't want to get those HUUUUGE shoulders and teeny tiny legs to go with it.
come to think of it, that photo up there looks like a giant dick. eeeeeeeeww!
oh, no wonder when i saved that picture, the file name was 'dikhead'
HAHAHAHAHA!

my drive thru by pharell, julian casablancas and santogold just came on. i swear that song makes me feel like dancing. i'm jumping around in my chair now, that song makes me hyper.
syapig said the only reason i listen to that song is because julian casablancas is in it. so what if julian casablancas makes me listen to hip hop?

grrh, sumpah aku lapar mcm bole makan badak je.
i don't have anything to blog about.
this post is so random, even i'm getting a headache from reading it.
i'm wasting time.
i'm gonna take a nap.
until maghrib.
then i'll eat to my hearts content.
then i'll go to bed.

diet month, my foot.