do you like cheap and pretty stuff?

i bet you do. and i know where you can get some.

remember in my other post 'my eye-opener', i mentioned something about the National Autism Society of Malaysia kan kan? my mother is in charge of the branch in Kuantan and she is holding a fund raising charity bazaar this november. i don't really know the exact date, but if i'm not mistaken, it will be on the 1st of november. kot.

whatever. details :

what : NASOM Kuantan Charity Bazaar

where : the house next to Nadia's house. you know tadika jezs indah? yeah, that area.

when : sometime in November.

why : to renovate that house and turn it into a complete autistic centre

there will be a LOT of stuff at that bazaar. i've seen lots of the things that my mum and her 'crew' are planning to sell. they have lots of clothes to sell. new clothes, old clothes, retro clothes, weird clothes. and accesories that drove my mother wild. seriously. she dragged me into her room to show me all the nice nice accesories her friend donated for the bazaar. but yeahhhh, it was really nice. very unique. AND they are antique stuff. i'm talking real, vintage items going dirt cheap. i haven't seen the clothes, but from what my mother told me, they're really nice. and most of them are brand new. and there are some pretty branded stuff. there are also some of my stuff going on sale -_-"
if you're a reader, there's lots of good books and magazines. i already chose my share, and i was pretty satisfied with the choices of things to read.

so if u want to go, you need tickets. if you're interested, contact me and i'll get the tickets for you from my mum. also, if you feel like getting pahala, you can donate some of your old stuff to sell. anything goes, as long as they're not too out of shape or anything.

comment if you have anything to ask or if you're interested in going or donating. if you're reading this blog but you don't have an account and can't comment, just ask me in person. i won't bite ;)

so... thats it, then.

a slight mistake in 'homo?'

after i posted that 'homo?' thing, yaya read it immediately. and guess what she told me? shekih muzaphar is engaged to a doctor. female, of course.
yeah, i am ulu, ketinggalan zaman, katak bawah tempurung blablabla.
all i can say is, that girl is lucky to get him. he is pretty unreal.

homo?

this week, i seem to be surrounded by gay people for some reason. its not like i have anything against gay people, they're interesting to talk to and they're fun to watch. its just the fact that i have seen soooooo many in the space of a few days kind of freaks me out because there was a time where meeting a gay person was something out of the ordinary. but now, it just seems like an everyday thing.

lets see, when i went for that karnival SRK, i met 2 gay people. there was maula, the most famous of all gays, and my friend ieda's senior. like i said, i have nothing against them. they're just fun to watch and to talk to. like when ieda's senior sort of admitted to me that he was gay. extremely open but at the same time, indirect. he said the words 'haluan kiri' and 'insyaallah, i akan ke jalan yang benar, tapi sekarang i tak nak betray myself'. indirect, open. very very good.

maula's always fun to talk to, but i'm not going to write down what he said to me. none of your nosy business, thank you.

and today, i saw about what? six gay people. yeah, six. there was the gay gang of tailors. they were so lembut and they knew more about kain than i did, about all the cuttings and the fashions and what not. fine, i'm not exactly the kind that cares about the way my baju kurung looks, as long as i look hot in it. hahaha whatever lah, but these people. fuhh! kain kipas ke belakang lah, kurung riau lah, kain duyung lah, and these other terms that i don't understand and don't bother to. at times, in that tailors shop, i did feel a bit embarassed and somewhat out of place because there i was, a 16 year old malay girl who knew nothing about kain and next to me were 3 gay guys who sounded like they swallowed a freaking dictionary of malaysian designs. malu malu malu. its like they were ready to get married off, they just sounded so...womanly and in the know about all this kind of things.

later when i went to eat dinner with the family, there was this table with 3 gay guys. they were all carrying little flowery handbags and their hand gestures were fun to watch. their hands kind of looked like they were boneless and very very free.

another thing, have you noticed that gay people are usually either flabby and have big bodies and tiny legs or they are hot and handsome but, unfortunately lembik.
its like, a sad fact of gay-ness.

and is sheikh muzaphar or however-you-spell-it gay? i hope he is, that guys seems to good to be true. smart, hot, nice, athletic (?) bla bla bla. how often do you see a guy like that, he seems like flawless. he'd better be gay.

i feel weird typing this. is this a good topic? i don't think so. but mcm sayang nak delete so i'll just post it.

appreciation is gone, i just know it

over the weekend, i went to Muadzam for this karnival SRK with about 40 other people. i had public speaking and the other people had bola baling, petanque, woodball, blablabla.
so, i'm not going to brag about how i got 3rd (nothing to brag about anyway -_-) or whatever but there is this one incident that i NEED to get off my chest.

one bola baling player from my school got injured. i don't really know how, but i think when she was trying to shoot a goal, the defender from the other school knocked into her, her knee hit something and she fell backwards. so she couldn't move her left leg and there were pretty bad scratches on her arms and legs.

i went to the field late anyway. when i got there, the game was over and everybody was around her, trying to help. so i, trying to figure things out, went to the teacher and asked what happened. then, when teacher realized who i was, she went "haa, budak st john. tolong laa, apa ni tengok-tengok je". she was obviously tired of helping out. either that or that kids smell was giving her a headache. i swear, the girl stank of sweat and grass. STANK.

so yeah, i had to help. i helped the PBSM dude bandage her leg, which he did wrongly. even i could tell that he did it wrongly. i, the worlds most inactive st. johner, could tell the guy bandaged her leg wrongly. he went and bandaged her kneecap when it was her muscles that was having cramps. don't ask me how i know it's wrong, i'm lazy to explain. so, obviously when you bandage the kneecap, you can't bend the knee can you? how was she supposed to walk? no, she couldn't walk. and guess who had to pimpin her. me, you say? you people are geniuses, i tell you. but, thank God it wasn't just me. this form 1 girl, Indira, who is as weak as a duck helped me.

you can imagine la, with 1 leg unable to bend and the other scratched up, the torture she had to got through to walk. AND the torture i had to go through carrying half the weight of a smelly, sweaty and extremely obnoxious bola baling player. torture, pure torture. she smelled like shit, worst part of it all.

ok la, so we carried her to the car, sent her off to the hospital bla bla bla. when she came back, she was fine. limping a little, but pretty much fine. but all she could talk about was how the niiiiiiiiice and PBSM boy massaged her leg for her and how extremely handsome he was. kepala die la, that boy is as brown as my study table and his face was 80% pimples. so imagine, a brown face with pink polka dots. attractive? not on a face! but since he massaged her leg and talked to her sooooo nicely, terjadi hensem la kot.

but of course, my good deeds and hardships went unnoticed since all she could talk about was the handsome pimply dude that bandaged her leg wrongly yg buat menyusahkan aku je. come on lah, i have much better looks than old pimpleface and i CARRIED her sweaty and smelly little ass all the way to the teachers car. but no 'thank you' from her, no smile from her, she didn't even look at me. in the bus, on the way home, she jabbed my shoulder extremely hard because i didn't realize i was blocking the way. still no 'thank you', no smile.

this post might make me look like i tak ikhlas tolong dia kan. the truth is, when i was carrying her, talking to her to distract her from the pain, trying to rebandage her leg, i wasn't thinking about how smelly she was, how her sweat was all over my shirt even though i just took a bath. at the time, i was really concerned and really wanted to help. sure, the teacher told me to help, but i didn't run away like her so-called friends who went to take a shower after i took over. this tak puas hati-ness came AFTER she completely ignored me after i helped. at least smile, acknowledge those who look out for you.

nilai : tolong-menolong, keikhlasan, pengorbanan HAHAHA
pengajaran : kita hendaklah mengenang budi dan jasa baik orang lain, kita hendaklah ikhlas apabila menolong seseorang HAHAHA

excitement

i had a pretty hectic day. wanna see what i did?

1) i was hunted down by miss wai and madam wong because of that stupid Karnival SRK public speaking thing. they made me type out my speech because it was still on rough paper, so i sat there all morning in the bilik guru with amalen for company. whee~
and in my speech there is this part where i say 'cannot lah, my husband wont let' and 'i should ask my husband first' (its just part of my speech). yeah, when i said that, both of them went hysterical and were going like this :

wong bb : aiyohhh, so true lahh! eh, i like this la Nadia. this is so cute you know! wai, wai, come and see this, i like this sooooooo much! aiyohh, aiyohhh.

wai : aiyoh, bee bee. that sounds like you la. Nadia, how did you know your madam wong bee bee talks like this? sooooooo good lah!

wong bb : aiyoh, really like me lah. nadia, are you spying on meeeeee?

no, i am not spying on any of SMART's teachers, i have other things to do. teachers are really very easily excited by little things like that. we students must bring very little light into their life.
oh yeah, and then they said my speech was too short and i should come up with more points and they came up with the weirdest point imaginable. my speech is about individual independence and they came up with :
financial independence of teenagers. teenagers are never financially independent, there are no working teenagers except those who go work as prostitutes or drug dealers or something. haih, weird weird.

2) i finished typing my speech and was bored as hell, then i saw jaja, dayah and ezmeer come into the bilik guru. i ran to them and we all went out for recess. and yeah, it was only 10.30. it was the lower forms recess time but what the hell lah, turun je. and it wasn't just me, dayah, ezmeer and jaja okay. my whole class went for recess at 10.30. no shit, the whole class. well, the other girls got boring stuff like bread but the guys and me-dayah-jaja bought nasi minyak and ate it right there.
it was kind of funny. the lower form kids are really kiddy, they're all tiny and immature-looking. suddenly in the middle of the canteen, there's this table full of big guys and 3 girls eating. a lot of teachers were looking at our table really funny but they didn't seem to think we were in form 4. haha.

3) when we went up to class. teacher didn't come in so taufiq, afi, ezmeer, fawwaz and i played chan na lok. if you don't know what chan na lok is, you're either not a malaysian or you were never a kid. today, when we played, everyone was targeting fawwaz and bila dia kene lastik :

when taufiq jentik fawwaz, fawwaz says
"eeeeee, babi lembu ni sakit la bodohhhh! aku tarik ekor kau, kau tak bole berak nanti, tengok ahh! wuuuu sakit"

when afi jentik fawwaz,
fawwaz : oww! ow! owwwww!
afi and taufiq : tu da lembut tu, lembik ah kau ni fawwaz.
fawwaz (very proudly) : hmph, tak sakit pon. hmph, macam bapok je. hmph. hmph. hmph. OWWWW! sakit!

4) my extremely patient and sweet natured ustazah lost her temper with my class. nobody passed up the notes she asked for, well, simply because notes aren't really important are they? anyway, she said "nota hantar minggu ni, kalau tak demerit" and nobody took her seriously so she slammed her books on the table and went "minggu ni! saya tak nak dengar lupa ke ape, kamu semua tak nyanyok. baru 16 tahun dah nyanyok." so we thought back and discovered that all our teachers have lost their tempers with us at least once. ALL. yeah, my class is pretty bad.

5) there is a german lady staying in my house until thursday. she's my uncles cousins wife. close relative, i know. she's like fascinated by everything. when i came home from school, i took off my tudung and was going to take a bath, she asked me to put my uniform back on because she wanted to take a picture. i was like this :
=.="
and she was all excited to go to the beach because she has never seen the sea in i-dunno-how-many years. or probably never.

6) as i was typing number 5, miss irene called and told me that i have a chance to go for that st. john international camp and i'm supposed to see her tomorrow and get the form from her. damn, i wasn't expecting that. i thought they already picked chew yee?

hectic, very hectic. i'm going to take a nap, i need a break.

slowwwww moooooo

stupid internet is so stupidly slow, i stupidly feel like taking the modem and stabbing it with a parang until it breaks. then i'll bury it under some dry leaves and some kayu, pour petrol on it then i'll burn it and throw the ashes to in a longkang

but, i can't can i? stuuuuuupid!

maybe this extremely slow internet is a sign. a sign from God that i should get my butt moving and start with the homework that is piling on now. so far i have chemistry notes and papers, maths exercises that i don't understand, that bio paper that teacher gave just now even though there wasn't bio today and i really should start reading sejarah because i have never read the textbook seriously this year. but, i'm too lazy. gosh, can someone give me a kick in the head or something?

i know, i'll take a nap. then, when i wake up i'll be fresh and ready for whatever i need to do. or i might just feel extremely relaxed and think "i still have time. online la kejap".

my mind is still asleep. budak ni tak sedar-sedar lagi.

"need a little time to wake up" - Oasis, Morning Glory :)

home alone II

i was reading my bio book, topic nutrition, and i came across this.

Key Terms : balanced diet - gizi seimbang.

i never knew diet in malay is gizi. all this time i thought it was just, you know, diet.
so apparently gizi saya sememangnya tidak seimbang.

and i can never stand reading the key terms column. basically, they're all translations of the words we might not understand. all translated into BM. words like dark reaction is tindak balas gelap. yeah, that made me understand a lot better. oh, hydroponics means hidroponik? damnnn, why didn't i figure that out? thank YOU, fajar bakti. am i gonna get an A for bio or what?

*yes, i am still alone at home resulting in 2-3 posts in one day. see how bored i am? ma, pa come back. i miss youuuu.

home alone I

total freedom is overrated.

here i am, alone at home for the whole day, parent-free, and all i can do is sit in front of the tv and watch the simpsons. not that i'm complaining, my tv-activity became incredibly low since the simpsons season i-dunno-what finished on star world. and yeah, i kind of regret watching season 11 in one day during the school holidays because now i don't bother to watch it again. BUT now they're back on star world. and so activates my tv-activity. thank you star world for making my evenings more meaningful with Homer's antics.

but you know what? it seems empty. the house is quiet except for the sound of the tv which is kind of creepy because there's usually my mother's voice talking on the phone or talking to the cats or something. its not like i'm scared easily ( true ok! ) or whatever but everyday there's this new story of some girl getting raped or this gang of banglas comes to your house and holds a parang to your throat. that could happen to me.

ok, i am creeping myself out. let's try focusing on the positive, shall we?

positive thoughts :

1. no parents around to nag me to get my ass offline and do my homework
2. dinner is pizza
3. i own the tv
4. i can go online as long as i freaking want
5. freedom to sleep, which i did not use. bodoh.
6. peace and quiet
7. dapat belajar cara berdikari

haha number 7 is such a big, fat lie. but who cares, friends is on now.

my eye opener

mood : touchy-feely. prepare yourself.

last sunday, i went for my brothers sports day. first of all, you should know that my brother has autism. autism is a pretty complicated mental disorder. usually, the problem with autism is speech and motor skills but my mother told me that every child is different and needs a different method to help them. but i'm too lazy to give you a real explanation, so look it up or as my mum if you want. hahaha.

anywayyy, my brother is in this hostel for autistic teens and adults. he's under this society which is the National Autism Society of Malaysia, NASOM for short. they've got all these psychologists and bla bla bla helping the autistic kids under them. and last sunday was their sports day.

even when i got there, i saw lots of stuff. kids screaming, teachers running around trying to get the kids together, datins, datuks, mothers, fathers. all kinds of people were there.

after a few hours, i could already see there were a lot of ways people treat these autistic kids.
there is :

1) the cold parent
- there was this one lady, her son was trying to tell her something. but you know these autistic kids, they cant freaking talk. i could see the frustration in her sons face, trying to tell his mother something, trying so hard to get her attention and all his mother would say is "wipe your saliva, where's your teacher?".
i swear, i felt like kicking that womans chair. your son is disabled, your son is trying to tell you something, respond laaaa! he's your freaking son. it seriously broke my heart seeing that guys face when his mother said that to him. its not like they dont understand you knoww. well, most of them dont, but my brother does. the dude with the rude mother does. respect them, for God's sake.

2) the careless parent
- there was a little kid running around naked. yeah, naked. and you know what he was doing? looking for his parents. and he found his parents sitting under the tent, fanning themselves because it was really hot. but of course he found his parents AFTER 300 people saw him and about 150 laughed at him openly.
when he found his parents, he went and buried his face in his mothers lap in embarrassment and his mother shoved some pampers on him and pushed him away. idiots.

3) the embarrassed sibling.
- i'm pretty sure, i am not one of them. yeah, i'll admit i do wish for a normal sibling but accept and love what you have right? i can proudly say that abang should be effin' grateful to have me as his sister. not like i'm some sort of adik mitali, baik sgt dgn abang kan. but these other siblings, from what i saw, they didn't want to have anything to do with their sibling.
example, one of my dad's old friends has an autistic son too and he was there at the sports day. his sons name is azhari. azhari has 4 other siblings, lucky him. his eldest sibling was a girl, 1 year younger than me kot. this azhari dude, he's pretty smart and quite friendly i guess. he went to my dad and sort of pressed his back to him, kind of like wanting my dad to hug him. so my dad did. i, for one, thought it was a really funny and sweet thing to look at. you know, my dad hugging someone else's disabled kid really hard like he was his own.
but, azhari's sister went and buried her face in her hands and went 'oh my godd.' hishhh, come on lah. its nothing to be embarrassed about, you should feel happy to know that there are other people out there who have autistic kids and dont mind them.
yeah, i can understand her feelings. sometimes i do wish that my brother was normal so that people would stop staring and stop pitying us, but i accept that its what God gave me and my family. i can't change my brother and i don't blame him for being how he is. yeah, sometimes he is extremely hard to handle. sometimes you feel like screaming at him and just knocking his head off so he would shut up, but that is him. he can't do anything and neither can i.
azhari's sister didn't even run after him when he got bored listening to our dads talk and just walked off. that is so wrong. anything can happen to an autistic kid, especially the really hyper ones like azhari. but hey, that's what she does. i can't do anything can i? accept and move on :)

4) the loving, caring siblings
- there was this datin and her family. i loved watching this family take care of their autistic sibling. the kids name is azlan. when it was azlans turn to run, the whole family was behind him, cheering him on, supporting him and everything. they held his hand, gave him hugs, took pictures with him. they looked really happy and comfortable with azlan, giving him all the love they had. i loved that.
whenever i see things like that, it gives me this positive feeling that i'm not the only person with a disabled sibling. there are others with my situation and they manage just fine. i feel really safe and happy knowing that i'm not the only one. really good feeling :)

5) the compassionate teachers.
- the teachers, really, are the real heroes. i really have to say that. with shitty parents some kids have, nobody else is there for them but the teachers. no matter how terrible the kid is, they stick to them and love them like their own kids. like at the sports day, the teachers were pushing and pulling the kids along with them, every step of the way.
even if i can't look after abang when my parents are gone, i know there are others looking out for him.

my conclusion : that event made me see more things, for sure. yes, things are tough for me but i know that there is hope and there are people out there who can help me and there are people doing an even shittier job than i am, so i'm not that bad anyway :D