Brianstorm

I think I've changed a lot. I'm more alert to the things around me. I analyze the people around me a lot more. I think more. I'm basically not the aloof, blur, biar-je-lah-what-do-I-care Nadia I used to be. I used to be wrapped in my own world and I never cared about the bad things. Nor did i notice the good things either. I was just taking things as they come but not taking them seriously.

Now, I notice every little thing. To make things even weirder, I think about it and scrutinize it to its most minute detail. Which usually brings a negative perception, because I scrutinize the negative things as they just don't match up to what I want. But I take the positive things for granted because I assume it will always be there.

I can't say that I've changed for the better, because I'm less satisfied with things and I always hunger for more but at least I can say that I know what I want and I know I deserve much more. And maybe now, I'll have the desire to work towards getting to what I want instead of just being content with what I have when I deserve better.

BUT there's that little corner in my mind that misses the old me. Life is always much simpler when you don't know what's going on.

Now, I can really say this -- Ignorance is bliss. Sweet, blur, aloof bliss.