Halted time

It's 2020 and the world is in the middle of a pandemic with no vaccine available, leaving something called 'social distancing' as the best combative measure for now. The entire globe has been at a standstill for about a month now including Malaysia.

With social distancing, public events are cancelled indefinitely, public spaces are closed, businesses and schools are shut down, restaurants and bars are not allowing customers to dine in, roads are empty. Everyone is shut into their homes until further notice to prevent the virus from spreading from person to person.

I've been at home since March 18th, not leaving unless it's to buy groceries which is on average once every fortnight.

Since being shut in, time has sort of blurred. I wake up late in the day and only fall asleep deep in the night. Weekdays and weekends have almost no distinction between themselves. Most of my work is accomplished after sundown.

Earlier in the year, I wrote about the tangibility of time - of having meaning assigned to days, dates, months, years, and being able to count the passage of time. How hopeless and exhausted I would be if I truly felt that every day were the same, with no end or beginning in sight. How strange it is that the world has given me exactly that.

With everything at a standstill, my days are almost always the same. Time feels frozen when nothing in your environment changes. The calendar says the world has been in this state for around a month and yet, I feel like I have been living the same day over and over again with no foreseeable end or beginning. I could close my eyes right this instant and I will see these same walls when I open them, right up until I close them again. When I glance at the date and time, there is a sense of disbelief.

"It's only Tuesday?"
"It's already Tuesday?"

My perception of time no longer matches its passage. I am not moving with time, I am stuck with time.