Important looking plastic card

I've been going through the process of getting my driver's license, probably the only productive thing I've been doing since SPM. This Wednesday's my JPJ test, and I gotta say, I'm kinda sad that after this will be the end of driving classes and the start of me... Driving. Wait, did I say I'm sad? *smacks forehead. Silly me.

First, the undang lecture. What I remember was that the first half of the lecture was given by this Malay dude with a pretty thick Pahang dialect. Thank God it was still comprehensible to me because yeah, I'm not great when it comes to funny Malay dialects. Heck, I'm not even great when it comes to the fricken' language, ask my old BM tuition teacher (Cikgu Maziah).
Anywho, this Pahang guy was really funny, even I could tell. Strangely enough, nobody was really laughing. Everyone was like.. dead. And he kept looking around, waiting for a response but yeah, everyone was like "Duh" or "zzzz". Poor guy.
The second half of the lecture was given by this Chinese guy who looked like a skinny teddy bear. And this guy pulak, had a thick Cheenah accent. And his favorite word was "kemungkinan". Only he pronounced it as "ker-moong-ki-nan".
Example : "You mau potong itu orang kaaan, you mesti check kereta dari opporseet (opposite) lane kerana kermoongkinan dia boleh langgar you sebab you mau mati cepat. Itu mesti ingat. Ker-moong-ki-nan".

Then of course would be dear driving instructor, Mr. Maniam. Whose real name is actually "Mani", but who wants to be called sperm? Give the guy a break.
Mani(am) is a short, tubby, bald and dark guy who is perpetually coughing and sniffling away. Everytime I have sat in the car with him, I don't think there was ever a session when he was silent and didn't sniffle. Or spit, for that matter. Yes, he spits. He snorts and coughs up a huge wad of mucus, winds down the window and "ptoooooi", out goes the booger, flying 4 feet through the air like some lethal mini missile and lands onto the road. Or on bad days, someone's car. Charming.

Mani(am) gets a lot of phone calls and his ringtone is great. Its an Indian song, that has this very repetitive pattern to it. We don't know what it says for sure, but Adele came up with "Apla apla jega lahi" and it fits, so.. Apla apla jega lahi all the way!

Now, the way I'm describing Mani(am), its like he's a really bad instructor but he's not all that bad. I think. Well, he doesn't yell or kick the car tyre when you don't park right like this other instructor I saw once. Man, that was ugly. I guess it's a relief for me, anyway, because my parking is probably the suckiest in the history of sucking. I don't need some dude kicking and screaming just because I knocked a pole down.

Anywayz, tomorrow (well fine, at 11am soon since its already 3.30am) is the last practice and the test is on Wednesday. After that, I'll have an important looking plastic card with my name on it that legalizes my erratic driving. So, expect some accidents.

V-day

Its the 14th of February, we all know what that means. Mine went like this :

My brother stays in Klang during the weekdays and he has a few teachers who take care of him while he's there. So one of them got married today. Lots of my brother's teachers were there and they brought one of my brother's friends, Omar, who is also autistic. The difference between Omar and my brother is that Omar can speak in sentences, while my brother just can't be bothered to string his words together. Long story short, Omar likes to talk.

So, while I was still eating lunch and everybody else had finished, they decided to go and see the bride, leaving me to talk to Omar by myself. Omar told me about his home, his family and suddenly the subject of girlfriends and boyfriends cropped up. Omar told me about how this girl kissed him when he was on a holiday with his family in Vietnam and now he likes to think of her as his girlfriend.

Then he asked me whether I brought my boyfriend along today. I said, "No, my boyfriend went to KL today". So he replied, "Oh. I can be your boyfriend today, if you want".

So I said to him, "Okay, Omar. You be my boyfriend for the day."

Then Omar said, "So now I can kiss you and my girlfriend in Vietnam."

Then I thought I'd better discourage this tendency of his to go around kissing girls.

"No la, Omar. Kiss your mother, your sister or anyone in your family okay?"

Then, Omar looks blank and says, "Okay. Can I have a watermelon please?"


Happy Valentine's Day. Spread the luv, babies :)

Nah, amik kau

I can't stand it when people use their blogs for the sole purpose of complaining and whining away about their relationship downfalls. Nothing else is on their blog except for "She's a bitch", "He dumped me", "Why does this always happen to me?" and crap along those lines.

You have to realize that you're not the only one in the world who has those problems, you're not the only one who lost out on something, and nobody likes reading about that anyway. So stop whining and deal with it like the rest of the people in the world. Bitch.

140 characters or less

I haven't updated in weeks. What's happening to me? I used to blog almost everyday about every random thing on my mind. I guess this is what happens when you have a Twitter account. You get tired of typing lengthy paragraphs and prefer sticking to the "140 characters or less" rule.

So How?

It's not fair that we're fed with these cheesy fantasies about love. Nearly every book I read and every movie I watch shoves perfect endings and idyllic story lines down my throat. At first, I didn't give a damn and was perfectly happy about the way my life was going. And the world seemed like such a good place. Then I started to wonder and fantasize about that perfection. And then I wanted it. The more I read and the more I saw, the more I believed it was possible for me. Or lets just say, I started to give a damn.

So then, I start having expectations of perfection or something close to it at least. But I keep getting disappointed because nobody measures up. I keep getting angry because somebody who I think will finally be able to reach my expectations lets me down. And that's not exactly the person's fault for not being able to keep up with my crazy wants and demands. And yet that's not enough for me because he doesn't have what I want.

But what do I want exactly? A tall, handsome, buff, rich, caring, loyal guy who loves me unconditionally and gives me hugs whenever I'm feeling down? Yes, I know that makes me sound like a materialistic, air-headed bitch because any woman would tell you that there isn't anybody like that. Or if they even existed, they wouldn't be available. All men want is a hot girl to show off to their dudes. So I should stop having crazy expectations because I'd just keep letting myself down and disappointing myself.

But on the other hand, the expectations are good because I'd be reserving myself for the best. I know EVERY woman deserves the best they can get because God knows, after the amount of idiots that make kissy sounds whenever we walk by, look at our boobs instead of our face, and openly insult girls when we don't look at them, we have the divine right to expect nothing BUT the best and deserve to be completely 100% satisfied with the person we're with. Can I get a "woot-woot" ladies?

So now, I'm faced with the big choice :

Do I dump expectations and learn to be happy with what I have because my expectations won't lead me anywhere anyway?

or do I keep looking for someone to make me completely happy, trust my gut that there is somebody out there who will and just keep waiting?


Or I should just go watch cartoons for the rest of my life and the world will be so much happier.

I feel metaphorical.

Ad says :

"Girls are like nuclear reactors. Push the right buttons and we won't explode."

If I were a nuclear reactor, I think the most dangerous button would be Jealousy.

Besides causing its own major disaster, it sets off a chain reaction of mini explosions. It also pushes the Annoying button, the Boring button, the Immature button, the Trapped button and worse, the Desperate button.

See what I'm getting at here?

The right buttons, however, would definitely be the Funny button, the Self-Confident button, the Good Body button, the Trust button, the Freedom button and the Friendly button.


There. All you have to do is push the right buttons.

Possibilities.

Its been a month since SPM finished and I have accomplished exactly zero things on my to-do list. Let's have a show of hands, people!

What I HAVE done, though, is :

1) Catch up on sleep. Even though I've definitely caught up on those lost hours, I'm still pulling those 3 hour naps and 12 hour sleep patterns.
2) Watched almost every movie shown in the cinema. Which is effectively burning a huge, irreparable hole in my wallet.
3) Read every book in the cupboard in my room. The only halfway productive thing I've done so far, I guess.
4) Went shopping! :D
5) Gotten bored.


Maybe since school's started (not for me), I'll try and get a job. Haha we'll see when this gets done.