Actualize

I think at some stage in life, we all go through this I-think-I'm-so-cool stage but in actual fact, we're as lame as can be.

Like in form 1, I thought it was cool to put a picture of a kitten with angel wings as my default picture in Friendster and name myself cAt_aNgeL. And hence, most of my seniors called me cat angel which I was kinda proud of at the time. Don't worry, at around form 3 I realized that it wasn't really a term of endearment.

And when I was around 11 and was still into Eminem, I had a poster of him right in front of my bed and woke up to his scowling face every single morning. I thought it was the greatest thing in the world. That poster was shortly replaced by an Orlando Bloom poster though, which is still kinda acceptable I think. I'm still pretty grateful that I wasn't that passionate about 50 cent. I mean Eminem is one thing, but imagine waking up to 50 cent. Dude.

I also went through the stage where I developed a slang. This was after one of my cousin's husbands cousin came to Malaysia and I spent about a week with her. My cousin's husband's cousin is, by the way, British. So naturally, she has a British accent. One which I tried to copy. I was 10 at that time. I also went through the catchphrase period. I kept saying 'how ... schweet' and said goodbye to people twice. Like 'I'm gonna go now. Byebye ... Byebye!'

DAMN, I was lame.

At least now I've gotten a pretty good identity. I'm not one of those retarded girlies who go around wearing pink and glitter 24/7 and tYpE liKe tHiS. I'm not one of those emo's who straighten their hair to get a fringe that can cover one eye. I'm not a hardcore junkie who mosh like possessed people at screamo gigs and go around advertising their love for sex and alcohol.

Yeah, I'm pretty satisfied with myself. I'm not bad looking, I dress myself well, I've got decent music in my library, the people I surround myself with also know who they are.
At least I've grown out of that I-think-I'm-so-cool stage and am not hanging in the middle.