The laxative effect

I just went for a shit. I know this doesn't seem like a very normal or appetizing opening for a blog post but bear with me, alright? It's what caused my need to go for a shit.

Okay, so after dear dear Zul called me to torture me with the succulent tunes of Kasabian at World Stage, I went youtube-ing Kasabian concerts. Yes, I know. Sedih tak dapat tengok live, tengok je lah kat small screen kan?
So there I was, dengan muka mcm ni >> T.T depan computer and then I felt this need. You know that feeling kan. The nak-pergi-launching feeling. Then I thought "Wow, I tengok sampai Kasabian sampai nak terberak ke? Duuuuuude, this is one powerful band".

And while I was "on the throne", as my dad calls it, I started thinking. Kasabian isn't the only thing that makes me wanna launch a few bombs. There's :

1) Walking into a big bookstore like MPH or Border's makes me feel the need. But it goes away after a while, usually when I don't find a good book. But when I DO find a good book, the feeling comes back again. Almost as if my rectum muscles are telling me "This will be a good book to read in the toilet. Buy buy buy!".

2) Around an hour after eating a double cheeseburger from McDonald's. This has been happening ever since I started eating double cheeseburgers when I was around 11. Nothing else on the McD menu has this effect on me. Its the burger.

3) After drinking 2 cokes. It's never one, or one and a half or three. It has to be 2.

4) Bila nak pergi dating berdua-duaan. Tak kisah la dengan siapa pun, when I'm on the way, my insides will be twisting and churning like snakes on steroids. My heart starts pumping extra blood, my palms start sweating and yes, I feel like going.


I wonder if I should go for an endoscopy. Is that the right test? What do you go for when you want to check your bowels?
Hmm, I don't think I want to know.