Pumping On Your Stereo

Just got back from Ummaira's place for her movie/pizza party. Well, that's what she called it but I think she should have called it a movie/pizza/cake party. Baskin Robbins ice cream cake + big tiramisu cake amounts to a loooooot of cake. But damn, that was some delicious cake. I ate 3 slices; 2 ice cream cake and 1 tiramisu. Yes, I am greedy.

Oh, and when my dad picked me up, he was using one of his company cars and I can honestly say that it was the smelliest car I've ever been in. He said his 'boys' (the guys that do the dirty work in connecting phone lines) used the car before. Well, that explains it all. It was all sweaty in there. Sweaty, sweaty, sweat.

Hmm. Oh yeah, I've recently taken to over-sizing my clothes. I counted and I have around 4 over-sized tops in my closet and I'm starting to raid my brother's closet for his outrageously huge t-shirts. I'm thinking of borrowing my dad's checkered work shirts. Or I might just buy one of my own. Topman has great checkered shirts.

I'm wearing one of Abang's t-shirts now, even. Its a very nice shade of purple, with a big LSU TIGERS and a tiger head printed on it. I love it, even though I don't know what LSU TIGERS actually are. I would wear it out with my black leggings, but when I say this t-shirt is over-sized, I really mean over-sized.
Picture this : a reasonably slim (ahem) 16 year old girl wearing a huge purple t-shirt that comes down to her knees and the only part of her arms that are visible are her hands and wrists.

I went to the living room wearing this and my mum went 'Put on a pair of your boxers or something la, for goodness' sake'. Funny thing is, I was wearing a pair of my boxers. Ugly stripy green boxers that I never liked much. Ah, beautiful over-sized purple t-shirt hides ugly green boxers.

Well, that was out of nowhere. Hmm.

Man Gave Names To All The Animals

" In this world, you have to be either oh-so-smart or oh-so-pleasant.
For years I was smart.
I recommend pleasant. "

-- Harvey the Rabbit.

Really good piece of advice, coming from a rabbit. Haha.

Brianstorm

I think I've changed a lot. I'm more alert to the things around me. I analyze the people around me a lot more. I think more. I'm basically not the aloof, blur, biar-je-lah-what-do-I-care Nadia I used to be. I used to be wrapped in my own world and I never cared about the bad things. Nor did i notice the good things either. I was just taking things as they come but not taking them seriously.

Now, I notice every little thing. To make things even weirder, I think about it and scrutinize it to its most minute detail. Which usually brings a negative perception, because I scrutinize the negative things as they just don't match up to what I want. But I take the positive things for granted because I assume it will always be there.

I can't say that I've changed for the better, because I'm less satisfied with things and I always hunger for more but at least I can say that I know what I want and I know I deserve much more. And maybe now, I'll have the desire to work towards getting to what I want instead of just being content with what I have when I deserve better.

BUT there's that little corner in my mind that misses the old me. Life is always much simpler when you don't know what's going on.

Now, I can really say this -- Ignorance is bliss. Sweet, blur, aloof bliss.

Gone

I wish people would stop being so self-absorbed.
Wake up la. There are more important things in this life than your petty materials.

Bathwater

I was having one of those days when nothing was going right. My mother was pestering me to join another tuition class, my homework was piling up, and I was getting really tired and stressed out. So there I was, in my own cloud of misery when my dad suddenly comes up to me all cheery and smiley and goes "Alaa, Nad. Why so sedih? Come, teman i makan goreng pisang. I'll make you a cup of Milo too. You know I make one hell of a Milo".

When a parent says something like that to you, that just lifts your spirits right back up, doesn't it? And its great people like your parents whom you almost always take for granted throughout your teenage life. I can't say this for everybody, but I know that half the time I hardly even think let alone acknowledge the things my parents do for the family, especially my dad. And those things they do for me, its just something that I think is always there and assume it will always be there. It's inevitable reality that someday they'll be gone and only then will I miss the things they do for me and regret the things I've done that had hurt them. But I continue taking them for granted and continue being the selfish person that I am. Man, I'm friggin' selfish but hey, I'm only human. Everybody does that. It just takes a little bit of self reflection to know what to really appreciate and what to keep in mind.

So hopefully, I'm going to change and I'm going to start appreciating the REAL things in my life. I'm not going to wait until my parents are gone before I start appreciating them and the things they do.

Spread the love. Hahahaha tibe-tibe.

Oh, and when he made me my cup of Milo, I went "Damn, Pa. This really is one hell of a Milo and my dad replied me with a "That's the shit right there". He's the greatest, I'm tellin' ya.

Down To The Market

Thoughts :

1. I need to stop biting my lips. How to stop? Read that lip biting is a sign of anxiety and stress but I'm not anxious or stressed. At least, I think I'm not.
2. I should learn how to cook. I'm a useless excuse for a female.
3. Opie's fur is beautiful. God, I love that cat. And Cherry too, no less =.=
4. Does the ordinary train of thought crash and burn or suddenly come to a complete stop as often as mine does?
5. Why am I here? I have homework to do.
6. I'm so easily annoyed nowadays and its getting annoying. I'm annoyed that I'm easily annoyed. Even that sentence is annoying.
7. Recession is becoming a very scary word now.
8. I want McDonalds but they just had to sponsor the bloody Israeli army. Stupid a-holes with yummy burgers.
9. I want new glasses. Wayfarers. Hahaha.
10. Random much?
    

Take My Heart

And so passes the first week of school. First week of Form 5. I have to start getting used to saying that. Yeah, that fact is still being digested even though a week has passed. It's just so weird, going to school, and knowing that I'm a senior, and I'm going to leave soon. Looking at the Form 1's and how tiny they are, I realize that USED to be me thinking how huge and intimidating the Form 5's are. And now here I am, in Form 5.

Kind of overwhelming too, when you start to realize that THIS is the year. This is the year to make things happen, and every part of your future will depend on this year. And if you screw up, there's no going back and starting over. You have to get this year right, or everything else is going to go wrong. No pressure, eh? Haha.

I'm spazzing everytime I step into school. Every step into school is the last step and every hour isn't going to come back anymore. We can't goof off and skip class and think 'Ah, there's always next year' because there isn't going to BE a next year! And now we're in the big Form 5 labs doing all these big, "advanced" Form 5 work. And I have actually started looking up universities and colleges. I'm going into university or college next year. Geeeeeez.

I'm spazzing about the first week of school, imagine when I actually turn 17. I'm so glad my birthday is in October. I can be mentally prepared by then. Haha.